you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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