i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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