Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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