Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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