so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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