I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
