Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize