god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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