We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
