I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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