This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
