At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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