you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
