I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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