There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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