Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
