sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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