Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
