If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize