yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
