I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
