At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
