Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
