yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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