guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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