Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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