So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
