people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
