i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
