my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
