The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
