you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
