So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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