I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
