no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
