census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
