I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
