Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
