Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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