I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
