More tranny stories later!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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