You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
