Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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