I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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