If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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