Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
