No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
