i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
