She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
