I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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