no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
