Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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