im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it