ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
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Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.