come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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