shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm both gender and math confused
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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