Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
