last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you will always have a special place in my vag
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
