Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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