Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
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Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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