Moan for me like Helen Keller
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
